Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
