Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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