apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
