david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
