If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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