i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
honey bunches of taint.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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