Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
