Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
