me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
