none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
