In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
