my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
