And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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