im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
how does that bad decision feel?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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