yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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