my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
