I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize