Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
