I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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