If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
