We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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