I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
