It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
