Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
