apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize