No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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