I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm too high and old for this...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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