im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
