This is not my ceiling
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
