im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
