Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
