I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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