I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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