hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
