So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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