I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Say something about gay babies.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize