now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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