question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
