some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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