I puked a lego.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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