My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
