lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize