How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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