just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
third nipple confirmed
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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