I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
