Pants 0. Shit 1.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
