i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
