i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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