Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
this is an emotional support booty call
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
