Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
