Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize