My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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