I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
