Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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