We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
