did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
