I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
