Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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