I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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