I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
